Islands (2001)
1. Exile pt. I
2. Exile pt. II
3. Getting On
4. Moonlight Escape / The Dewdrop
5. The Storm / The Dilapidated House
6. Fading Away
7. Tides
8. Sometimes
9. Blue Airplane
10. Virtually Real Life
11. Crazed Obsession
12. Tell Me Now
13. Play In Feeling
14. Sono Aida
In 2001 things finally started to calm down...in some ways but not in others. I was no longer going nuts from emotional turmoil, but a lot of strange things were still happening. Perhaps the most significant event was my getting totally fed up with all the obnoxious gossiping and factionalism in the staff room at work, so I finally packed up the contents of my desk and relocated to a nice, quiet island of my own in the music clubroom. The isolation did a lot for my peace of mind and also boosted my creativity. This album took a bit of time to finish, but I also completed a whole bunch of literary works during the same period. My buying a new Roland synth workstation had a major impact on the music.
Exile Pt. II - This song, the second on the album, describes my flight from "society" into "exile" as well as my realization that someone else of significance had done the same thing. It's a sort of psychic expression of mutual understanding.
Moonlight Escape - The Dewdrop - This is the first movement of a three-part instrumental inspired by a Japanese legend about a warrior who falls in love with a young princess, kidnaps her, and takes her off to what turns out to be a haunted forest...where she winds up being eaten by an ogre. Not a very happy tale, but it is kind of moving.
Blue Airplane - I had a whole bunch of really vivid and totally bizarre dreams during this period. Many of them turned out to be prophetic. At first the "airplane dream" was just a very disturbing puzzle...loaded with symbolism but very unclear. That was the inspiration for this tune. Incidentally, I later figured the dream out, and it was indeed prophetic. I know now that I probably should have called this song "Purple Airplane", but I didn't bother changing the title. Still, though that cute, little plane is no longer buzzing my neighborhood, I'm perfectly happy still to be able to see it flying in the distance...
Crazed Obsession - I wasn't the only one with obsessions during this period. The internet outlet was turning out to be both a means of expression and a way of earning the ire of some people...
Diminished Arcana (2000)
1. Waves & Shallows
2. The Tower & The Sun
3. Till It Comes...
4. Ten of Swords
5. Follow On
6. Guardian Angel
7. Romantic Odyssey
8. Little, Lost Bird
9. Illuminati
10. Object
11. Learn About Life
12. The Final Outcome
Summer vacation in 2000 finally gave me and my overwrought midbrain a much-needed break. It gave me time to calm down and rationalize things. It also woke me up to the fact that other people I knew were suffering far worse than I was. I wound up writing and recording all these songs during a record-breakingly short (and very cathartic) 2-week period. I was spending almost all my time in my studio...and I'd start a new song as soon as I'd finished the one before it. I was both meditating and playing with my tarot cards a lot during this period, which wound up being reflected in both the album cover and the lyrics.
Ten of Swords - One of my longtime close female friends (actually the younger sister of one of my best friends from my school days) sent me a shocking e-mail. She and her husband had always seemed like such a tight and unbreakable couple...but he had suddenly freaked out and left her for reasons that seemed just plain mental. I immediately called her, and we chatted for two hours, after which I made this song. (Incidentally, they wound up divorcing, but she recently remarried and seems much happier now.)
Guardian Angel - One day, when my wife succeeded in prying me out of my studio long enough to help with some housework, I just picked up my alto recorder and started playing this melody. By nightfall this tune was finished. I have actually performed this one live.
Follow On - There are a number of short, reflective, acoustic numbers like this one on Diminished Arcana. I think they are the album's high point.
Object - We get a lot of spoiled rich kids at Ye Olde Academy, and some of them really get on my nerves. No further explanation necessary.
Through the Valley (2000)
1. Purge
2. Stroll
3. The Pool
4. Hr'Voyan Shambas
5. Sudden Realization
6. Whatever Happens
7. Advice?
8. Reassertion
9. Reassurance
10. Murasaki
In 1999 my dream job at Ye Olde Academy suddenly turned into a nightmare. I was assigned, over my protests, to teach classes I had no business teaching (for reasons of politics, I later learned), and everyone knew it. Suddenly I went from being respected by my students to being openly dissed. Parents and other members of the faculty started complaining about me. The principal made a thinly-veiled recommendation for me to resign so he could replace me with someone he thought had better qualifications. Even the fellow members of my grade team suddenly started treating me like an unworthy hanger-on. Just as my self-confidence seemed on the verge of total collapse, however, I discovered that I was getting support from an unexpected source.
I won't bother going into too much detail because it could easily become a small novel. Suffice to say that I came to rely on that support too much, and when it suddenly disappeared (read "was yanked from me by people who had the wrong idea") in February of 2000 I completely fell apart, and so did the events surrounding me. For a while I seriously thought I was losing my mind. It didn't take long for me to regain control, but by then my reputation was pretty much in the gutter, people were trying to "save" me in ways that just pissed me off, my wife was terribly worried and upset, and I wanted more than anything to get marooned on a nice, quiet island somewhere.
Anyway, this album is short but rather emotional.
Stroll - This is the middle segment of a three-part instrumental describing a character from my writing (the same one featured in the View from the Tower album) as she takes a stroll through a sacred forest to an enchanted hot spring pool. I composed the main moving parts on my computer sitting at my desk feeling horribly depressed.
Reassertion - Just when I thought things were becoming rational again, and I was reasserting control over myself and my feelings, the reason for the distress suddenly distressed me again for a completely different and even more distressing reason.
Murasaki - The title means "purple" in Japanese, and it was significant for several reasons. The tune itself was originally inspired by a poem, written back in the 11th century, in which a soldier expresses the agony he feels at seeing the woman he has always loved, and who until then had been his lover, dressed in purple because she has just married the Emperor. The music ends as the poem ends, with a lonely voice moving off into the distance, resigning itself to circumstances it can't hope to change. When I completed this tune I knew it was time to end the album, short though it was, because it was clear to me that that chapter in my life had come to a close. Actually, it hadn't, but it continued in a different way in Diminished Arcana.
Phases of Matter (1998)
1. Three for the Road
2. Snabulus
3. Empty Glory
4. Grey World
5. Spin
6. Waking Cerebrum
7. Goer'dan
8. Guide
9. Technophiliac
10. Prayer of the Age
11. Dizzy Dreamer
12. Tlesca
13. You, Me, We
This album actually began as two separate ones, Phase into Phantasy (1996) and The Soul of the Matter (1998). I was dissatisfied with those two works for several reasons, so I picked them apart and put the salvaged parts together into one CD about the same time I finished Open Halls. The period from 1996 to 1999 was one of many changes. It saw the transition from all-analog production to my first works recorded on my 8-track digital recorder (but, at that time, mastered on analog gear...big mistake). It also saw my first experiments with MIDI programming, something I now take for granted. Unfortunately, I also suffered a lot of technical problems, some of which can be heard in the songs, resulting in things being replaced. As far as my life was concerned, I, my wife, and our new baby daughter had just moved into the little house next door to the in-laws. I had also just started my promising, new career at Ye Olde Academy. I also started getting more and more into spiritualism during this period, combining elements of Christianity, Zen Buddhism, Native American shamanism, and occult mysticism. It seemed like my whole world was reinventing itself, but I had reason to be optimistic despite the looming millennium and all the darkness that it would portend...
Three for The Road - This instrumental was the first tune on Phase into Phantasy and is now the opener for Phases of Matter. I think this is some of my best experimentation with the limited guitar gear I had at the time.
Grey World - The mood wasn't always jovial. Sometimes it seemed like everywhere I looked the assholes were winning out over the good people. Here's a healthy bit of cynicism to express that.
Tlesca - Some have said this is the best tune I've ever made. I'm not sure I agree...especially with that crappy guitar opening (on a cheap, pickup-equipped acoustic run through analog gear that munched up the sound...and I didn't bother doing a retake when I botched it). Still, it is a cool tune once it gets going. It also has by far the strangest story behind it of any musical work I've made. Maybe someday I'll tell it. BTW, this tune apparently got some airplay in Bangalore, India thanks to a friend of mine there who promoted my work.
You, Me, We - And here my 1980s Britpop influence (thanks to my wife) becomes readily obvious. I don't care what anyone else says; this song is still my personal favorite of all time even though it's very simple and repetitious. There are only two guitars (plus bass), but I used some multitrack trickery to make it sound like there are three guitars. There is also a bit of track cutout due to equipment failure (in the master so I can't fix it unless I totally redo it). The lyrics are "ghostwritten", i.e. I meditated for a while and then quickly sketched the words automatically. I'm not sure exactly what it was about, but it might have had something to do with something that was starting to happen at the school (which wound up inspiring the Through the Valley album).
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Monday, February 12, 2007
The Grey Era: 1996 - 1999
The so-called “Grey Era” (yeah, yeah...English spelling) actually ran concurrent with the early part of the “Purple Era”, but I consider it distinct for a number of reasons. The period from 1996 to early 1999 was a time of many changes in my life, but it was also one of exploration. The storm and stress that would follow from the end of 1999 hadn’t started yet, and I was doing a lot of thinking and experimenting. I was also heavily involved with sci-fi / fantasy as a gamer, a reader, and an author. Inevitably, that fit of whimsical creativity found its way into my music.
The Confederation Suite (1999)
1. Fyllven (Aragonese)
2. Texture 12 (Arcadian)
3. Commander's March (Besteeng)
4. Vien Fien (Dubian)
5. Hr'Ankith (Ergothei)
6. Dama-den-billjwak (Farbett)
7. Exercise Routine #751 (Fasion)
8. Suei'Karme (Foldorian)
9. Tupar - suHem (Gerlangian)
10. Thock-Charrgh (Ibitonian)
11. A Cek Tear (Lybolt)
12. 42034 (Zorlan)
13. Inyataicfiues (Ehrlathagi)
Ever since I was in the third grade I’ve been steadily developing the “Impasse Universe”, a sci-fi world that has served as the setting for most of my fiction writing, artwork, and a role-playing game that I and several people played in my college days (and later). I got to wondering what the ethnic / traditional music of some of the alien cultures would sound like, and this album was the result. There are a lot of races and cultures in the Impasse Universe, so I stuck with the “good guys”, the twelve major powers of the Confederation plus a conquered former member. This is undoubtedly my most artistic work…and the most bizarre. The samples I picked are among the “safest”.
"Exercise Routine #751 (Fasion)" – Everyone seems to like this one best. Picture a whole group of uniform-clad midgets with large, bald heads performing a workout routine while a leader barks out commands.
"Tupar - suHem (Gerlangian)" – This isn’t necessarily a fan favorite, but I’ve always liked it for artistic reasons. The Gerlangian nation is divided into two castes, the rustic Medwhonis, who live rather simple lives with very little technology, and the urban Gerlang, who spend all their lives sealed within their awesomely high-tech city-ships. I think you can guess who rules whom (rather oppressively). The two classes have very different languages and cultures, and the music represents this. Can you tell which is which?
"A Cek Tear (Lybolt)" – The Lybolt culture was created by one of my friends (Dewkid, to be exact), and he told me their music sounded like “Enya without lyrics” with an electric harp as the principal instrument (a la Andreas Vollenweider). This seems to be another fan favorite.
"Inyataicfiues (Ehrlathagi)" – This also seems to be a bit of a fan favorite, which surprises me. The Ehrlathagi were once the mightiest empire in the region, but at the very start of the War a combination of surprise, deception, and betrayal led to their destruction. Now about half their former nation is occupied by (and/or collaborating with) the enemy, and the remainder is serving the Confederation as a protected subject. They’re not too happy about that. This poem / song is in the Ehrkiss language. “Inyataicfiues” would translate as “(We) will have our revenge.” (Incidentally, making all the different languages for the Impasse Universe, and trying to make them either grammatically distinct or show clear linguistic devolution, has been one of the greatest pleasures for me…as well as a cause of serious headaches…).
Andy’s Arda (1997)
1. Kander the Beloved
2. Albruin, Father of Wisdom
3. Lucas the Luckbringer
4. Marden, Angel of Wrath
5. Phaltos, Father of Life
6. Drandir, Lord of Fates
7. Ral Andorak, the DeathSinger
8. Thrambral, Father of Lies
9. Tarantalus, the DarkWeaver
10. Daranon
11. On a White Horse
12. Fellstrike
My friend and former coworker Andy was the “dungeonmaster” for an AD&D campaign we were playing at the time. The setting was a fantasy world of his own creation, “Arda” (which, incidentally, is the same name for “Earth” that J.R.R. Tolkien used in The Silmarillion). He had put a lot of work into its development, and it was quite extensively detailed. I haven’t heard from him in a while, but last I heard he was still writing novels and short stories based on his Arda setting.
The album mainly consists of a suite I made inspired by the nine deities of Arda, each representing one of the ethical alignments of AD&D (i.e. good vs. evil, law vs. chaos). For the sake of balance, each movement is close to equal length. Musically they are quite different.
"Albruin, Father of Wisdom" – Albruin represents Neutral Good, the alignment of enlightenment and unconditional love. I always pictured him as being sort of Buddha-like, so I made this tune meditative.
"Drandir, Lord of Fates" – Drandir represents Chaotic Neutral, the alignment of aimlessness, random fate, and, well, insanity. That pretty much sums it up. My wife still says this is her absolute favorite of all my works. I’m not sure whether to take that as an insult or not.
"Thrambral, Father of Lies" – Thrambral represents Neutral Evil, the alignment of profit without principle (i.e. pure greed). He is mainly the deity worshipped by thieves, spies, and assassins, so I gave this tune a sense of sneakiness…sort of a “what’s that slinking in the shadows?” kind of thing.
"Tarantalus, the DarkWeaver" – Tarantalus represents Chaotic Evil, the alignment of totally unrepressed, wanton desire. Not to give evil an undue balance here, but this has to be one of the most disturbing pieces I’ve ever created. Tarantalus is the only one of the Nine that actually lives on Arda itself. He is imprisoned in a deep vault beneath a mountain, where he speaks in the dreams of the unwary, cultivating their sympathy, tempting them, corrupting them, and, hopefully, enticing the powerful among them to work toward his release. The theme of this tune is sinister voices speaking in the dark depths of one’s consciousness, both to plead for compassion and to twist the soul (i.e. I had fun with my Korg sampler).
The Hero’s Way (1996)
1. Fanfare
2. Hergoth National Anthem
3. Ganneth
4. Mutual Awareness
5. Call to Arms
6. Under Their Feet
7. Behold Your Son
8. The Temple
9. The Hero's Way
10. Oasis
11. 200 Years (of Loneliness)
12. Curtain Call - Yangae National Anthem
13. Our Little One
14. Educate the Lower Class
1. Brighter Than Ever
2. School Forbidden
3. The Chase
4. Solilo-Ro'Kister
5. Brighter Than Ever (reprise)
6. The Tempest
7. Interlude
8. Of Love and Vengeance
9. Star-Crossed Lover
10. Dilemma
11. Finale
12. News of the New Cycle
13. Epilogue
14. The Hero's Way/Star-Crossed Lover (reprise)
The Hero’s Way is a two-disk set. The entire album is a rock opera that I wrote back in my college days. I was always very proud of it, so it was one of the first works that I recorded once I first got my home studio up and running. The original version, recorded in 1990, was a 100-minute cassette tape album that, well, sucked…but it still had lots of energy. This is the remake. It is a lot better than the 1990 version, but I’m still not satisfied; the quality of the production still pales in comparison with my more recent works. Maybe someday I’ll try it again...
The story is set in the Impasse Universe. Part I tells about how a reclusive (and rather arrogant) Hr’Goth poet named Ganneth finally fell in love only to have his world invaded, conquered, and devastated by a race called the Yangae. His parents are killed during the failed partisan rebellion. His lover, an initiate of the Temple, convinces him to pledge himself to the Way of the Hero (kind of like Jedi only much, much nastier). To make a long story short, he passes initiation, trains, becomes the greatest of the Heroes, leads a great rebellion, fails miserably, winds up imprisoned in the Temple, loses his priestess lover (to suicide), and finally flees into obscurity. For more than two centuries he wanders his planet, nameless and shattered (and made sadly immortal by his Hero powers). Part II tells the story of how a family of the Yangae “dirt-diggers” caste, little more than slaves, educates their daughter Lu’Teske in their secret reading room, a punishable offense. (In those days Soil Tenders weren’t allowed to read.) They are finally caught and executed by a vigilante militia. Lu’Teske escapes and becomes a Triask (entertainer/prostitute) using the street name “U’te”, whereupon after a lot of drama she winds up being taken on by a perverse Noble as a sort of toy. They travel to the world of the Hr’Goth, and the Noble promptly ditches her. Yangae colonists there don’t treat her very well. Guess who winds up coming to her rescue? In Part III Ganneth and U’te wind up becoming a very unlikely couple. Unfortunately, when U’te restores his self-confidence he immediately sets out to start the rebellion again. He finally succeeds in setting the stage for the liberation of his people, but not before killing both himself and his lover in one gigantic, crust-ripping thermal explosion. The end.
Many of the tunes are long, and they tend to segue into each other. That made track designation very difficult. Sometimes I’d have to chop one tune up into two or three or four because of changes in tone…or to keep an individual track from being more than fifteen minutes long. That also made it difficult for me to select tracks to post here. I chose ones that listeners have said they liked, but some of them are only excerpts of much longer works.
"The Heros Way" – The priesthood won’t accept just anybody to become a Hero. They do their damnedest to convince would-be candidates to change their minds. Ganneth doesn’t, he succeeds in becoming the greatest of the Heroes…and accomplishes nothing but getting a few cities nuked as a warning for him to behave himself.
"Oasis" – The Yangae know they can neither defeat nor hold Ganneth, so they demand that he submit to imprisonment in the Temple (or they’ll nuke more cities). He agrees, but doesn’t exactly follow the rules. He and his priestess lover keep sneaking out to the gardens to be together. It’s all a bit hard for her to take, though, and she finally loses it. All Ganneth gets is one last note (a suicide note, actually). That sends him fleeing off into obscurity for two centuries.
"Brighter Than Ever" – This song introduces the performer/prostitute U’te, formerly the orphaned Soil Tender girl Lu’Teske. She entertains men of higher castes and thus earns her living, but her “family” is still the dregs of society, and she does her best to help support them.
"Star-Crossed Lover" – Ganneth, now fully revived, has gone off to fight the Yangae again, leaving his Yangae prostitute lover U’te all alone. This is her soliloquy. I used a unique tuning and playing style to try to emulate a musical instrument used by lower-caste Yangae. I only wish I had a female vocalist on hand…my voice does NOT suit the part!
Only four tracks out of two CDs is hardly a good representation of the work (and seems like kind of a waste), but…oh, well. I’ll leave it at that.
The Confederation Suite (1999)
1. Fyllven (Aragonese)
2. Texture 12 (Arcadian)
3. Commander's March (Besteeng)
4. Vien Fien (Dubian)
5. Hr'Ankith (Ergothei)
6. Dama-den-billjwak (Farbett)
7. Exercise Routine #751 (Fasion)
8. Suei'Karme (Foldorian)
9. Tupar - suHem (Gerlangian)
10. Thock-Charrgh (Ibitonian)
11. A Cek Tear (Lybolt)
12. 42034 (Zorlan)
13. Inyataicfiues (Ehrlathagi)
Ever since I was in the third grade I’ve been steadily developing the “Impasse Universe”, a sci-fi world that has served as the setting for most of my fiction writing, artwork, and a role-playing game that I and several people played in my college days (and later). I got to wondering what the ethnic / traditional music of some of the alien cultures would sound like, and this album was the result. There are a lot of races and cultures in the Impasse Universe, so I stuck with the “good guys”, the twelve major powers of the Confederation plus a conquered former member. This is undoubtedly my most artistic work…and the most bizarre. The samples I picked are among the “safest”.
"Exercise Routine #751 (Fasion)" – Everyone seems to like this one best. Picture a whole group of uniform-clad midgets with large, bald heads performing a workout routine while a leader barks out commands.
"Tupar - suHem (Gerlangian)" – This isn’t necessarily a fan favorite, but I’ve always liked it for artistic reasons. The Gerlangian nation is divided into two castes, the rustic Medwhonis, who live rather simple lives with very little technology, and the urban Gerlang, who spend all their lives sealed within their awesomely high-tech city-ships. I think you can guess who rules whom (rather oppressively). The two classes have very different languages and cultures, and the music represents this. Can you tell which is which?
"A Cek Tear (Lybolt)" – The Lybolt culture was created by one of my friends (Dewkid, to be exact), and he told me their music sounded like “Enya without lyrics” with an electric harp as the principal instrument (a la Andreas Vollenweider). This seems to be another fan favorite.
"Inyataicfiues (Ehrlathagi)" – This also seems to be a bit of a fan favorite, which surprises me. The Ehrlathagi were once the mightiest empire in the region, but at the very start of the War a combination of surprise, deception, and betrayal led to their destruction. Now about half their former nation is occupied by (and/or collaborating with) the enemy, and the remainder is serving the Confederation as a protected subject. They’re not too happy about that. This poem / song is in the Ehrkiss language. “Inyataicfiues” would translate as “(We) will have our revenge.” (Incidentally, making all the different languages for the Impasse Universe, and trying to make them either grammatically distinct or show clear linguistic devolution, has been one of the greatest pleasures for me…as well as a cause of serious headaches…).
Andy’s Arda (1997)
1. Kander the Beloved
2. Albruin, Father of Wisdom
3. Lucas the Luckbringer
4. Marden, Angel of Wrath
5. Phaltos, Father of Life
6. Drandir, Lord of Fates
7. Ral Andorak, the DeathSinger
8. Thrambral, Father of Lies
9. Tarantalus, the DarkWeaver
10. Daranon
11. On a White Horse
12. Fellstrike
My friend and former coworker Andy was the “dungeonmaster” for an AD&D campaign we were playing at the time. The setting was a fantasy world of his own creation, “Arda” (which, incidentally, is the same name for “Earth” that J.R.R. Tolkien used in The Silmarillion). He had put a lot of work into its development, and it was quite extensively detailed. I haven’t heard from him in a while, but last I heard he was still writing novels and short stories based on his Arda setting.
The album mainly consists of a suite I made inspired by the nine deities of Arda, each representing one of the ethical alignments of AD&D (i.e. good vs. evil, law vs. chaos). For the sake of balance, each movement is close to equal length. Musically they are quite different.
"Albruin, Father of Wisdom" – Albruin represents Neutral Good, the alignment of enlightenment and unconditional love. I always pictured him as being sort of Buddha-like, so I made this tune meditative.
"Drandir, Lord of Fates" – Drandir represents Chaotic Neutral, the alignment of aimlessness, random fate, and, well, insanity. That pretty much sums it up. My wife still says this is her absolute favorite of all my works. I’m not sure whether to take that as an insult or not.
"Thrambral, Father of Lies" – Thrambral represents Neutral Evil, the alignment of profit without principle (i.e. pure greed). He is mainly the deity worshipped by thieves, spies, and assassins, so I gave this tune a sense of sneakiness…sort of a “what’s that slinking in the shadows?” kind of thing.
"Tarantalus, the DarkWeaver" – Tarantalus represents Chaotic Evil, the alignment of totally unrepressed, wanton desire. Not to give evil an undue balance here, but this has to be one of the most disturbing pieces I’ve ever created. Tarantalus is the only one of the Nine that actually lives on Arda itself. He is imprisoned in a deep vault beneath a mountain, where he speaks in the dreams of the unwary, cultivating their sympathy, tempting them, corrupting them, and, hopefully, enticing the powerful among them to work toward his release. The theme of this tune is sinister voices speaking in the dark depths of one’s consciousness, both to plead for compassion and to twist the soul (i.e. I had fun with my Korg sampler).
The Hero’s Way (1996)
1. Fanfare
2. Hergoth National Anthem
3. Ganneth
4. Mutual Awareness
5. Call to Arms
6. Under Their Feet
7. Behold Your Son
8. The Temple
9. The Hero's Way
10. Oasis
11. 200 Years (of Loneliness)
12. Curtain Call - Yangae National Anthem
13. Our Little One
14. Educate the Lower Class
1. Brighter Than Ever
2. School Forbidden
3. The Chase
4. Solilo-Ro'Kister
5. Brighter Than Ever (reprise)
6. The Tempest
7. Interlude
8. Of Love and Vengeance
9. Star-Crossed Lover
10. Dilemma
11. Finale
12. News of the New Cycle
13. Epilogue
14. The Hero's Way/Star-Crossed Lover (reprise)
The Hero’s Way is a two-disk set. The entire album is a rock opera that I wrote back in my college days. I was always very proud of it, so it was one of the first works that I recorded once I first got my home studio up and running. The original version, recorded in 1990, was a 100-minute cassette tape album that, well, sucked…but it still had lots of energy. This is the remake. It is a lot better than the 1990 version, but I’m still not satisfied; the quality of the production still pales in comparison with my more recent works. Maybe someday I’ll try it again...
The story is set in the Impasse Universe. Part I tells about how a reclusive (and rather arrogant) Hr’Goth poet named Ganneth finally fell in love only to have his world invaded, conquered, and devastated by a race called the Yangae. His parents are killed during the failed partisan rebellion. His lover, an initiate of the Temple, convinces him to pledge himself to the Way of the Hero (kind of like Jedi only much, much nastier). To make a long story short, he passes initiation, trains, becomes the greatest of the Heroes, leads a great rebellion, fails miserably, winds up imprisoned in the Temple, loses his priestess lover (to suicide), and finally flees into obscurity. For more than two centuries he wanders his planet, nameless and shattered (and made sadly immortal by his Hero powers). Part II tells the story of how a family of the Yangae “dirt-diggers” caste, little more than slaves, educates their daughter Lu’Teske in their secret reading room, a punishable offense. (In those days Soil Tenders weren’t allowed to read.) They are finally caught and executed by a vigilante militia. Lu’Teske escapes and becomes a Triask (entertainer/prostitute) using the street name “U’te”, whereupon after a lot of drama she winds up being taken on by a perverse Noble as a sort of toy. They travel to the world of the Hr’Goth, and the Noble promptly ditches her. Yangae colonists there don’t treat her very well. Guess who winds up coming to her rescue? In Part III Ganneth and U’te wind up becoming a very unlikely couple. Unfortunately, when U’te restores his self-confidence he immediately sets out to start the rebellion again. He finally succeeds in setting the stage for the liberation of his people, but not before killing both himself and his lover in one gigantic, crust-ripping thermal explosion. The end.
Many of the tunes are long, and they tend to segue into each other. That made track designation very difficult. Sometimes I’d have to chop one tune up into two or three or four because of changes in tone…or to keep an individual track from being more than fifteen minutes long. That also made it difficult for me to select tracks to post here. I chose ones that listeners have said they liked, but some of them are only excerpts of much longer works.
"The Heros Way" – The priesthood won’t accept just anybody to become a Hero. They do their damnedest to convince would-be candidates to change their minds. Ganneth doesn’t, he succeeds in becoming the greatest of the Heroes…and accomplishes nothing but getting a few cities nuked as a warning for him to behave himself.
"Oasis" – The Yangae know they can neither defeat nor hold Ganneth, so they demand that he submit to imprisonment in the Temple (or they’ll nuke more cities). He agrees, but doesn’t exactly follow the rules. He and his priestess lover keep sneaking out to the gardens to be together. It’s all a bit hard for her to take, though, and she finally loses it. All Ganneth gets is one last note (a suicide note, actually). That sends him fleeing off into obscurity for two centuries.
"Brighter Than Ever" – This song introduces the performer/prostitute U’te, formerly the orphaned Soil Tender girl Lu’Teske. She entertains men of higher castes and thus earns her living, but her “family” is still the dregs of society, and she does her best to help support them.
"Star-Crossed Lover" – Ganneth, now fully revived, has gone off to fight the Yangae again, leaving his Yangae prostitute lover U’te all alone. This is her soliloquy. I used a unique tuning and playing style to try to emulate a musical instrument used by lower-caste Yangae. I only wish I had a female vocalist on hand…my voice does NOT suit the part!
Only four tracks out of two CDs is hardly a good representation of the work (and seems like kind of a waste), but…oh, well. I’ll leave it at that.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
The Red Era: 1994 - 1995
In 1993 my JET Program(me) contract hit the three-year limit, and my tour of duty with the Ibaraki public school system came to a merciful end. That's when the real adventure began. Ironically, I had been promised a job at Ye Olde Academy, but it turned out to be a hoax just a couple of weeks before both my JET contract and my visa were due to expire. Needless to say, both I and my fiance (now fortunately my wife) were at wit's end. Then, like a miracle, I was given a surprise phone call by a fellow JET participant saying, "I know you're going to be working at [Ye Olde Academy], but just in case there's a change, my husband's school is looking for a new teacher." That started my stint with the English school owned and run by Kashima Oil Company. Ironically, I vowed never to have anything to do with Ye Olde Academy ever again. I never dreamed I'd wind up working there on a more or less permanent basis four years later!
Life from late '93 was a very different animal from before. The intrusive and overprotective yoke of the public school system was gone. I was living in a real flat which I had chosen myself rather than a government-subsidized (read "old and crappy") dormitory. I had a car which I was able to drive when and where I liked without need of secrecy or a guilty conscience. Lower income meant I had to be a bit more careful, but at least I was fully in charge of my own life.
The music I produced during the late '93 to '95 period reflects the freedom and optimism I was feeling at the time. Of course, there was also my getting married in late '94...:-)
Truth vs. Fame (1995)
1. No Lyrics
2. Just a Game
3. I'll Be There
4. PUD
5. Pumpkin?
6. Sample Basket Case
7. Left to Blow Away
8. The Last Dragon
9. Truth of You
10. The Princess
11. The Ballad of Helpful Randy
12. Brain-Dead Pop Song
13. Almost There
14. And I Pity You
This album basically picked up where Acerola Cola????!? left off. Mostly cheerful and at times downright silly, Truth vs. Fame nevertheless had an underlying theme of uncertainty, particularly the difficulty in resolving what one wants to be with what one should be. In fact, I was having a bit of trouble reconciling my newly-inspired spiritual concerns with material realities. Things were happening in the world that didn't make it any easier. This is probably the last all-analog album I made that I really feel good about.
"No Lyrics" - The album starts with this nice, naive bit of cheerfulness. I've always liked this tune for some reason.
"The Last Dragon" - This "philosophical fantasy" song was actually written by Don (Snabulus), though he refuses to take any credit for it. One day back in our early college days I was playing my guitar, and he suddenly started naming off chords at random. I played them, and next thing we knew we had this song. Quite a prolific poet at the time, he wrote the lyrics, too. I have performed this tune live many times, usually as a solo acoustic number.
"Truth of You" - Many people have named this as a favorite. The lyrics speak for themselves...the whole theme of the album. Incidentally, this is the first song in which I experimented with running a single guitar through multiple tracks, each using different effects, for a layered sound. ("You, Me, We" on the Phases of Matter album is an even better example of this...and is stylistically similar.)
"The Ballad of Helpful Randy" - One day Andy (as in Andy's Arda) handed me a page of lyrics and said, "Can you make a song out of this?" Apparently he'd heard it in a dream or something. I made the song, and it's loads of fun!
From the Bottom Drawer (1995)
1. Kinetic Oscillation
2. Man Killer
3. Not Just White
4. Seymour Deth
5. Summer Camp Song
6. Green Visions
7. Drill Sergeants
8. Another Man's Woman (for Another Man's Eyes)
9. Fog on the Horizon
10. Another Day
11. Pros and Cons of Love
12. A Bit o' Sentiment
13. Homebrewer's Lament
14. Oregon
15. Glass Walls
16. Freestyle
Right after I finished Acerola Cola?????!? I realized I had several notebooks full of songs I'd written in my high school and college days but had never really used. Then I had an idea: why not record some of those "golden oldies"? In fact, why not make an album dedicated to them?
Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time, and it was fun to make, but...this is definitely NOT one of my brighter moments. Part of the problem was that it was all so rushed. Had I taken a bit more time (and used a slower tempo on some of the tunes), well...maybe I should try again. Hey! Why don't I...(QUICK!!!! SOMEBODY SLAP ME!!!!!)
"Another Man's Woman" - (I'll take these songs in reverse chronological order so you won't run away after the first one.) "Another Man's Woman" was written during my first year at Oregon State, though the tune was actually cobbled together out of recycled bits of much older ones. I had a bad habit of falling for women I had no chance with (while ignoring the ones that were interested in me). In this case one of my friends (Don Snabulus, actually) tried to fix me up with a really cool girl he knew, but she was only interested in friendship. You see, she only had an eye for big guys in denim...who invariably treated her like crap. It was bloody frustrating. Incidentally, the original title of this song was "Big Guys in Denim", and the chorus was different, but someone recommended that I change it so no one would get the wrong idea about my sexual orientation.
"Seymour Deth" - Do you know my pal Seymour? (He often comments on my regular blog.) Well, in our late high school days he came up with a RPG character named (wait for it...) Seymour Deth. He was an instant hit, and he remained famous clear up until...well, until now! A mutual friend of ours named CH tried to write a theme song for the Seymour Deth character which was corny and portrayed him in totally the wrong way. CH handed Seymour (the person) the lyrics and cheerfully asked, "What do you think? Huh? Huh?" Seymour looked at the lyrics, made a face, and quietly threw the paper on the fire. (I'll never forget the look on poor CH's face!) I took that as a challenge to try to make a better theme song. This is the result, and to this day I have never showed Seymour the lyrics! Incidentally, Seymour played bass clarinet in high school, so I put a bass clarinet solo (played on my wind synth) in the middle.
"Oregon" - The idea for this song popped into my head while I was hiking in the Cascades. It is one of very few songs from my high school days that I've played live at all, let alone several times. BTW, the phrase "Come here to visit, but for God's sake don't come here to live," was originally said by former Oregon governor Tom McCall. Later governors tried to scoop kitty litter over it in order to promote economic growth (read "sell us out to the Californians"), but I hold that statement dear.
"Man Killer" - WARNING: CONTAINS PROFANITY (AND IS JUST PLAIN STUPID). Please just give this a cursory listen and then forget the whole thing. When we were in the 9th grade, I (on guitar), Pa've (on bass), and Don Snabulus (on lead vocals) formed something that could maybe be called a band. We went through several name changes, and a number of other members came and went, most of them drummers. I used my father's folk guitar until I finally got my first electric. Pa've first used a very cheap bass, and then he started building his own...all running through amps which were also of his own construction. Don just sang as best he could. In a word, we sucked, and we knew it, but we had a good time. We jammed on songs by Judas Priest and a few other groups that were popular at the time, but we also enjoyed coming up with our own originals. The best were ones that Pa've and I co-wrote (and he still refuses to give me permission to record), but we each had plenty of our own. Most of them have vanished into the mists of time. This one, one of my first, was (unfortunately) notorious enough to remain in memory. It was dedicated to (surprise, surprise) a girl that had really pissed me off. I present it here only for the sake of historical novelty. I recorded it the way I originally imagined it all those years ago...and the opening guitar sound is an approximation of what that Guyatone amp I used in my high schooldaze days sounded like when cranked up. I only wish our band had sounded half that tight...
Acerola Cola????!? (1994)
1. A Tatami Tale
2. End of the Day
3. Yours Is Mine
4. Let's Be Greedy
5. What You're Thinking
6. Mo!
7. Mid-Morning Mantra
8. Yakisoba
9. Inclination
10. Radio ZRDO
11. Unhip Alternative
12. Acerola Madrigal
13. What's In This Stuff?
One day, during one of my many visits to Kashima Shrine, I was walking by a row of vending machines when something strange caught my eye. One of the machines included, among other things, a plain, burgundy-colored can labeled "Acerola Cola". I had never heard of such a thing, and it seemed too bizarre to pass up. I tried it, and it tasted, well, like cola with acerola berries. Not only did I never see it again after that, but no one I know here in Japan has ever even heard of it. Some of them insist to this day that I imagined the whole thing.
This album is probably the all around best from my analog period, though it does have its flaws. There's plenty of humor and Moody Minstrelish sarcasm to be found here, but there are also hints of sentiment and romantic melancholy as this was the time my fiance and I were trying to convince her father to let us get married...and debating eloping if he didn't.
"What You're Thinking" - I was heavily involved in various music-related activities in addition to my home studio. My job also required long hours and sometimes a long commute. That didn't make my fiance very happy. She often complained that I had no idea what she was thinking or feeling. I wrote this song to show that I did. Basically, I'm singing her thoughts.
"Mo!" - Japanese, women in particular, often cry, "MO!!!!!" when they're frustrated, irritated, or exposed to something very silly. This tune is definitely very silly.
"Let's Be Greedy" - For a few years after coming to Japan I continued to receive an alumni newsletter from Oregon State. The early '90s was the time of the big property tax controversy in Oregon (ominous low string power chord) that led to the infamous Measure Five (loud diminished 7th chord). It amounted to an 80% property tax cut implemented in stages over five years with no alternate funding provided. Since OSU and all of Oregon's public schools received most of their funding from property taxes, it was a matter of grave concern to the university. No surprise, therefore, that the opinion pages of the alumni paper were constantly flooded with comments concerning Measure 5 and its projected effects. However, since OSU has always tended to be rather conservative, the overwhelming majority of the commentors were very much in favor of the tax cut. Some of the things that were said made sense. A lot, however, was a load of short-sightedness, apathy, naivete, and just plain hypocrisy that defied all logic. (One of my "favorites" was a woman who said something along the lines of, "If property taxes continue at this rate, I might have to give up one or both of my vacation homes. Why should I have to change my lifestyle just to keep schools and parks running?" Yippee-ya-yay, God bless the Land of the Free!) In this song I quoted a little, paraphrased a lot, and enjoyed a bit of artistic license, but it's not far from what people were actually saying! It was fun to make, at any rate...and I'm almost thankful I was here instead of there, so I didn't have to deal with it!
"Radio ZRDO" - This is by far the most famous work on the album and one of my most memorable recordings ever. A spoof radio program was something I'd always wanted to try. It contains a number of inside jokes, so don't worry if you don't understand. I'm seriously tempted to make a full Radio ZRDO album or something. Who knows?
"Acerola Madrigal" - Alright...people seem to like this album, so I'll toss in one more track. Something I used to do a lot in my analog days was spontaneous composition. I'd record five minutes or so of metronome click track without any plan in mind. Then I would improvise a series of segments of melody or rhythm and mix it all down onto one "root track". Once that was done, I'd listen back, decide what to do with each part, and flesh it all out using the other tracks...and a lot of "ping-ponging". (Sometimes I'd have as many as 16 separate parts going at once...on one 4-track recorder!) "Acerola Madrigal" is such a piece. I started with that first recorder melody and ad-libbed from there, tossing in the "Acerola Cola" theme on occasion. Since it's an instrumental, I made heavy use of my wind synth, which I rarely touch anymore. Several people have told me they like this one, and I figure it's a good example of my spontaneous composition from this period, so here it is.
Life from late '93 was a very different animal from before. The intrusive and overprotective yoke of the public school system was gone. I was living in a real flat which I had chosen myself rather than a government-subsidized (read "old and crappy") dormitory. I had a car which I was able to drive when and where I liked without need of secrecy or a guilty conscience. Lower income meant I had to be a bit more careful, but at least I was fully in charge of my own life.
The music I produced during the late '93 to '95 period reflects the freedom and optimism I was feeling at the time. Of course, there was also my getting married in late '94...:-)
Truth vs. Fame (1995)
1. No Lyrics
2. Just a Game
3. I'll Be There
4. PUD
5. Pumpkin?
6. Sample Basket Case
7. Left to Blow Away
8. The Last Dragon
9. Truth of You
10. The Princess
11. The Ballad of Helpful Randy
12. Brain-Dead Pop Song
13. Almost There
14. And I Pity You
This album basically picked up where Acerola Cola????!? left off. Mostly cheerful and at times downright silly, Truth vs. Fame nevertheless had an underlying theme of uncertainty, particularly the difficulty in resolving what one wants to be with what one should be. In fact, I was having a bit of trouble reconciling my newly-inspired spiritual concerns with material realities. Things were happening in the world that didn't make it any easier. This is probably the last all-analog album I made that I really feel good about.
"No Lyrics" - The album starts with this nice, naive bit of cheerfulness. I've always liked this tune for some reason.
"The Last Dragon" - This "philosophical fantasy" song was actually written by Don (Snabulus), though he refuses to take any credit for it. One day back in our early college days I was playing my guitar, and he suddenly started naming off chords at random. I played them, and next thing we knew we had this song. Quite a prolific poet at the time, he wrote the lyrics, too. I have performed this tune live many times, usually as a solo acoustic number.
"Truth of You" - Many people have named this as a favorite. The lyrics speak for themselves...the whole theme of the album. Incidentally, this is the first song in which I experimented with running a single guitar through multiple tracks, each using different effects, for a layered sound. ("You, Me, We" on the Phases of Matter album is an even better example of this...and is stylistically similar.)
"The Ballad of Helpful Randy" - One day Andy (as in Andy's Arda) handed me a page of lyrics and said, "Can you make a song out of this?" Apparently he'd heard it in a dream or something. I made the song, and it's loads of fun!
From the Bottom Drawer (1995)
1. Kinetic Oscillation
2. Man Killer
3. Not Just White
4. Seymour Deth
5. Summer Camp Song
6. Green Visions
7. Drill Sergeants
8. Another Man's Woman (for Another Man's Eyes)
9. Fog on the Horizon
10. Another Day
11. Pros and Cons of Love
12. A Bit o' Sentiment
13. Homebrewer's Lament
14. Oregon
15. Glass Walls
16. Freestyle
Right after I finished Acerola Cola?????!? I realized I had several notebooks full of songs I'd written in my high school and college days but had never really used. Then I had an idea: why not record some of those "golden oldies"? In fact, why not make an album dedicated to them?
Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time, and it was fun to make, but...this is definitely NOT one of my brighter moments. Part of the problem was that it was all so rushed. Had I taken a bit more time (and used a slower tempo on some of the tunes), well...maybe I should try again. Hey! Why don't I...(QUICK!!!! SOMEBODY SLAP ME!!!!!)
"Another Man's Woman" - (I'll take these songs in reverse chronological order so you won't run away after the first one.) "Another Man's Woman" was written during my first year at Oregon State, though the tune was actually cobbled together out of recycled bits of much older ones. I had a bad habit of falling for women I had no chance with (while ignoring the ones that were interested in me). In this case one of my friends (Don Snabulus, actually) tried to fix me up with a really cool girl he knew, but she was only interested in friendship. You see, she only had an eye for big guys in denim...who invariably treated her like crap. It was bloody frustrating. Incidentally, the original title of this song was "Big Guys in Denim", and the chorus was different, but someone recommended that I change it so no one would get the wrong idea about my sexual orientation.
"Seymour Deth" - Do you know my pal Seymour? (He often comments on my regular blog.) Well, in our late high school days he came up with a RPG character named (wait for it...) Seymour Deth. He was an instant hit, and he remained famous clear up until...well, until now! A mutual friend of ours named CH tried to write a theme song for the Seymour Deth character which was corny and portrayed him in totally the wrong way. CH handed Seymour (the person) the lyrics and cheerfully asked, "What do you think? Huh? Huh?" Seymour looked at the lyrics, made a face, and quietly threw the paper on the fire. (I'll never forget the look on poor CH's face!) I took that as a challenge to try to make a better theme song. This is the result, and to this day I have never showed Seymour the lyrics! Incidentally, Seymour played bass clarinet in high school, so I put a bass clarinet solo (played on my wind synth) in the middle.
"Oregon" - The idea for this song popped into my head while I was hiking in the Cascades. It is one of very few songs from my high school days that I've played live at all, let alone several times. BTW, the phrase "Come here to visit, but for God's sake don't come here to live," was originally said by former Oregon governor Tom McCall. Later governors tried to scoop kitty litter over it in order to promote economic growth (read "sell us out to the Californians"), but I hold that statement dear.
"Man Killer" - WARNING: CONTAINS PROFANITY (AND IS JUST PLAIN STUPID). Please just give this a cursory listen and then forget the whole thing. When we were in the 9th grade, I (on guitar), Pa've (on bass), and Don Snabulus (on lead vocals) formed something that could maybe be called a band. We went through several name changes, and a number of other members came and went, most of them drummers. I used my father's folk guitar until I finally got my first electric. Pa've first used a very cheap bass, and then he started building his own...all running through amps which were also of his own construction. Don just sang as best he could. In a word, we sucked, and we knew it, but we had a good time. We jammed on songs by Judas Priest and a few other groups that were popular at the time, but we also enjoyed coming up with our own originals. The best were ones that Pa've and I co-wrote (and he still refuses to give me permission to record), but we each had plenty of our own. Most of them have vanished into the mists of time. This one, one of my first, was (unfortunately) notorious enough to remain in memory. It was dedicated to (surprise, surprise) a girl that had really pissed me off. I present it here only for the sake of historical novelty. I recorded it the way I originally imagined it all those years ago...and the opening guitar sound is an approximation of what that Guyatone amp I used in my high school
Acerola Cola????!? (1994)
1. A Tatami Tale
2. End of the Day
3. Yours Is Mine
4. Let's Be Greedy
5. What You're Thinking
6. Mo!
7. Mid-Morning Mantra
8. Yakisoba
9. Inclination
10. Radio ZRDO
11. Unhip Alternative
12. Acerola Madrigal
13. What's In This Stuff?
One day, during one of my many visits to Kashima Shrine, I was walking by a row of vending machines when something strange caught my eye. One of the machines included, among other things, a plain, burgundy-colored can labeled "Acerola Cola". I had never heard of such a thing, and it seemed too bizarre to pass up. I tried it, and it tasted, well, like cola with acerola berries. Not only did I never see it again after that, but no one I know here in Japan has ever even heard of it. Some of them insist to this day that I imagined the whole thing.
This album is probably the all around best from my analog period, though it does have its flaws. There's plenty of humor and Moody Minstrelish sarcasm to be found here, but there are also hints of sentiment and romantic melancholy as this was the time my fiance and I were trying to convince her father to let us get married...and debating eloping if he didn't.
"What You're Thinking" - I was heavily involved in various music-related activities in addition to my home studio. My job also required long hours and sometimes a long commute. That didn't make my fiance very happy. She often complained that I had no idea what she was thinking or feeling. I wrote this song to show that I did. Basically, I'm singing her thoughts.
"Mo!" - Japanese, women in particular, often cry, "MO!!!!!" when they're frustrated, irritated, or exposed to something very silly. This tune is definitely very silly.
"Let's Be Greedy" - For a few years after coming to Japan I continued to receive an alumni newsletter from Oregon State. The early '90s was the time of the big property tax controversy in Oregon (ominous low string power chord) that led to the infamous Measure Five (loud diminished 7th chord). It amounted to an 80% property tax cut implemented in stages over five years with no alternate funding provided. Since OSU and all of Oregon's public schools received most of their funding from property taxes, it was a matter of grave concern to the university. No surprise, therefore, that the opinion pages of the alumni paper were constantly flooded with comments concerning Measure 5 and its projected effects. However, since OSU has always tended to be rather conservative, the overwhelming majority of the commentors were very much in favor of the tax cut. Some of the things that were said made sense. A lot, however, was a load of short-sightedness, apathy, naivete, and just plain hypocrisy that defied all logic. (One of my "favorites" was a woman who said something along the lines of, "If property taxes continue at this rate, I might have to give up one or both of my vacation homes. Why should I have to change my lifestyle just to keep schools and parks running?" Yippee-ya-yay, God bless the Land of the Free!) In this song I quoted a little, paraphrased a lot, and enjoyed a bit of artistic license, but it's not far from what people were actually saying! It was fun to make, at any rate...and I'm almost thankful I was here instead of there, so I didn't have to deal with it!
"Radio ZRDO" - This is by far the most famous work on the album and one of my most memorable recordings ever. A spoof radio program was something I'd always wanted to try. It contains a number of inside jokes, so don't worry if you don't understand. I'm seriously tempted to make a full Radio ZRDO album or something. Who knows?
"Acerola Madrigal" - Alright...people seem to like this album, so I'll toss in one more track. Something I used to do a lot in my analog days was spontaneous composition. I'd record five minutes or so of metronome click track without any plan in mind. Then I would improvise a series of segments of melody or rhythm and mix it all down onto one "root track". Once that was done, I'd listen back, decide what to do with each part, and flesh it all out using the other tracks...and a lot of "ping-ponging". (Sometimes I'd have as many as 16 separate parts going at once...on one 4-track recorder!) "Acerola Madrigal" is such a piece. I started with that first recorder melody and ad-libbed from there, tossing in the "Acerola Cola" theme on occasion. Since it's an instrumental, I made heavy use of my wind synth, which I rarely touch anymore. Several people have told me they like this one, and I figure it's a good example of my spontaneous composition from this period, so here it is.
Friday, February 9, 2007
The Blue Era: 1992-1993
The summer of 1992 saw several significant changes in my life. My base school introduced a new curriculum starting from April of that year that all but wiped out my work there. Meanwhile, the international program I was helping create at another school was really starting to take off. That led the district to decide to base me at that other school instead. It made sense, and I welcomed it for the most part, but it wasn't an easy transfer.
The fact was that, though my original base school had never seemed to take my work all that seriously, the teachers there had always been very kind and supportive. On the other hand, the faculty at the new base school gave me much more professional respect, but the atmosphere there was troubled to say the least. It was far less cordial, and many if not most of the teachers had a "can't be bothered" attitude toward everything. There were also some serious issues with excessive corporal punishment and sexual harassment of both students and female members of the staff. I saw and heard a lot of shocking things, and I wasn't always willing just to shut up and ignore it all. I took some action, and while some were grateful, it didn't earn me many friends.
The biggest shock, however, was what was happening with the students. The new Freshmen who had entered my schools in April of that year ('92) were turning out to be colder, more spoiled, and far less interested in English (or me as a foreigner) than their predecessors had been. The ones that came in April of the following year ('93) were even worse, being hostile to the point that I was asked to stop participating in school events from May of '93 because many of the Freshmen would refuse to enter the area if I was there (and would stand outside the door moaning, "I hate foreigners!"). Meanwhile, the first group of students in my international program finally graduated in March of '93, ending an era. Their progress in English had far exceeded expectations. However, they had also become such insufferable snobs that the last Australian exchange student to join their class was completely ostracized...and suffered from depression as a result. The overwhelming majority of them took their impressive English skill, threw it in the trash along with their dreams, and became very ordinary, orange-haired, trash-talking, conformist members of working-class society. In other words, the program had turned out to be a smashing success on paper...but from a practical standpoint it had been worse than useless.
Needless to say, my attitude toward the whole JET Program(me) thing became very bitter, and it was probably a very good thing that my contract hit its limit in the summer of '93. About the only really good thing was my relationship with my girlfriend (now my wife). I admit I hadn't expected it to last very long, but as it entered its second year it was stronger than ever.
Where Did We Go Wrong? (1993)
1. Society in Motion
2. If You Learned Your Lessons Well
3. Sensei
4. Cell
5. Left Alone
6. Losing Battle
7. The Split
8. Reevaluation
9. April Showers
10. Meeting of the Board
11. Spirit of Yesterday
12. The Trouble Is...
13. Beneath It All
The title and cover pretty much sum it up. This album started out as a rock opera based on what I saw happening to my students in the international program as they grew up, graduated, entered society...and got sucked into the swamp. My original idea was actually a sort of gothic sci-fi (i.e. it turned out that the government...or somebody, at least...was hypnotizing the public into submission), but it was never finished. I got to the point where the "hero" of the story learns to stop thinking and just forget everything he has learned so he can become a model corporate citizen, and then it just stopped. In fact, wonder of wonders, some good things had suddenly happened with the second international class, and that had cured my bitterness enough to abandon the opera. I just kept what I had already finished and then recorded some other songs. The underlying theme remains the same, but the second half is far less black than the first.
Sensei - This song is based on true events. Teachers at my second base school did not always practice what they preached. Nothing more need be said.
Losing Battle - This song is the dramatic climax of what would have been Part One of the original opera. Our "hero" (based on one of the more promising members of the first international class) enters the corporate world and tries to put his education and smarts to good use...only to become the proverbial protruding nail that gets hammered down.
Meeting of the Board - In 1993 a certain, famous Japanese megacorporation (which shall remain nameless) had an emergency board meeting to discuss problems they were having with their new recruits. It seemed that young people were becoming much too lacking in initiative and resolve, and the executive management was concerned about what that meant for the company's future. What was the result of the meeting? They decided that it was all the fault of the Japanese education system, which systematically stifled any hint of initiative or resolve. No, actually I'm kidding. They blamed "an incursion of Western values". Yep. It's all America's fault that Japanese kids are spineless, spoiled, and dependent.
Beneath It All - I didn't think so much about this song when I made it, but it seems to be popular (despite the vocal flub at the end). The bottom line: if the islands that make up Japan could talk, what would they say?
Beleaguered from Within (1993)
1. Your Own Worst Judge
2. Followed By Decadence
3. Cursed with a Conscience
4. Be One
5. But At The Wrong Time
6. How Does Your Mother Feel Now?
7. Beleaguered from Within
8. Still At It
9. No Regrets
10. Until The End
11. Right or Wrong
12. End of an Era
This album started as a sort of tongue-in-cheek look at the different facets of the human character and the various forces that influence it. As I went along, however, the darkening situation at work led to its becoming more sarcastic and cynical, but not yet really bitter. Personally, I think some of my best songwriting happened during this period, and I'm tempted to remake much if not most of this album.
Your Own Worst Judge - The album kicks off with a soliloquoy from your superego.
How Does Your Mother Feel Now? - In Japan of the early '90s James Dean was considered hip, and all the "macho" boys (more often than not pencil-neck geek wanna-be's) wore waxy, duck-butt hairstyles and swaggered around with "I'm so bad" looks on their faces. A lot of them also became either bikers or hot rodders (unlicensed, of course) whether they stayed in school or not. Quite often they were into snorting glue or paint thinner, which probably explained a few things. It was so laughably cliche, but it was far from amusing. It was bad enough that they made a game out of annoying everybody. The fact was that the girls in my international class went ape over those morons...and the competition for their "affection" and the "prestige" that went with it had a lot to do with the souring of the girls' attitude. Incidentally, during the '92-'93 school year fully three such boys, all students at my schools, managed to crash their cars or bikes and kill both themselves and their female companions. I admit I found it hard to feel sorry for them. To me it seemed more like poetic justice...both to them and to the doting idiot parents that had bought their vehicles for them in the first place. This song was a very entertaining experiment with layered guitar sounds.
Beleaguered from Within - The title track of the album explores the premise that it's virtually impossible to be truly "good". No matter what you do, when you think about it, you're causing harm to someone or something else. It can make it very hard to live with your conscience...if you even have one. I recorded this track before I had either MIDI programming ability or a good sequencer, so all those moving synth parts were played by hand on keyboards or wind synth...something I admit I find a bit intimidating now.
Cursed with a Conscience - Speaking of which... This is a light-hearted look at what it means to have a conscience...and the burdens it can place on you.
Hirokawa Gakuen (1992)
1. Who Am I?
2. Hirokawa Gakuen
3. Nothing to Fear At All
4. Spring Rut
5. Rough Edge
6. Condemned
7. Degradation
8. Turnabout
9. Ego Trip
10. Another Day, Another Ichiman-En
11. Song of Fall
12. Thoughts of Oregon
13. What Do the People Know?
14. Onset of Autumn
The school at which I was helping create an international course had two sister schools in Adelaide, Australia. They in turn had a second sister school in Japan. It was a prestigious, private academy (NO, NOT THE ONE WHERE I WORK!!!! THIS ONE WAS IN TOKYO!!!!!) with a reputation for being very harsh. That was something of an understatement. I met a teacher from our sister school in Adelaide, and he told me all about the scary things he'd seen during his visit to that other school. One of the stories in particular struck me. It was about a promising boy student who'd had his head shaven by his teachers and had been subjected to cruel humiliation, the normal form of punishment at thatnazi boot camp school. His offense? His friend, a biker, had been seen drinking alcohol. The boy himself had done nothing wrong; he was punished only for his choice of friends. I was inspired by that story, so I wrote the rock opera "Hirokawa Gakuen" (a fictitious name...I hope...) loosely based on it. The rest of the album was just a few songs inspired by things going on around me at that the time. It was a nice mix of sentiment and (at that time) playful sarcasm.
Hirokawa Gakuen - The title track is about the "hero's" first entering his new school...and finding out that it isn't the rosy place he'd thought it would be.
Rough Edge - And heeeeeere's the "hero's" crazy biker friend! He is a rebel, a square peg, a green sheep, and he's determined to be himself at any cost. Unfortunately, our "hero's" teachers don't like that. This seems to be everyone's favorite song on this album.
Condemned - Our "hero" faces the (warped) judgment of the school faculty.
Another Day, Another Ichiman-En - "Ichi-Man En" (一万円), or 10,000 yen (about $80 at the exchange rate back then) was what I calculated to be my approximate daily salary at the time. This instrumental is not part of the "Hirokawa Gakuen" rock opera. Instead, it depicts a typical day at my new base school starting with the bicycle ride to work, the morning meeting, Freshmen girls coming to flirt with the teachers, hanging out in the staff room, two classes, having lunch in the staff room, the International Club after school, the daily biker gang drive-by, going home at the end of the day, and getting plastered.
The fact was that, though my original base school had never seemed to take my work all that seriously, the teachers there had always been very kind and supportive. On the other hand, the faculty at the new base school gave me much more professional respect, but the atmosphere there was troubled to say the least. It was far less cordial, and many if not most of the teachers had a "can't be bothered" attitude toward everything. There were also some serious issues with excessive corporal punishment and sexual harassment of both students and female members of the staff. I saw and heard a lot of shocking things, and I wasn't always willing just to shut up and ignore it all. I took some action, and while some were grateful, it didn't earn me many friends.
The biggest shock, however, was what was happening with the students. The new Freshmen who had entered my schools in April of that year ('92) were turning out to be colder, more spoiled, and far less interested in English (or me as a foreigner) than their predecessors had been. The ones that came in April of the following year ('93) were even worse, being hostile to the point that I was asked to stop participating in school events from May of '93 because many of the Freshmen would refuse to enter the area if I was there (and would stand outside the door moaning, "I hate foreigners!"). Meanwhile, the first group of students in my international program finally graduated in March of '93, ending an era. Their progress in English had far exceeded expectations. However, they had also become such insufferable snobs that the last Australian exchange student to join their class was completely ostracized...and suffered from depression as a result. The overwhelming majority of them took their impressive English skill, threw it in the trash along with their dreams, and became very ordinary, orange-haired, trash-talking, conformist members of working-class society. In other words, the program had turned out to be a smashing success on paper...but from a practical standpoint it had been worse than useless.
Needless to say, my attitude toward the whole JET Program(me) thing became very bitter, and it was probably a very good thing that my contract hit its limit in the summer of '93. About the only really good thing was my relationship with my girlfriend (now my wife). I admit I hadn't expected it to last very long, but as it entered its second year it was stronger than ever.
Where Did We Go Wrong? (1993)
1. Society in Motion
2. If You Learned Your Lessons Well
3. Sensei
4. Cell
5. Left Alone
6. Losing Battle
7. The Split
8. Reevaluation
9. April Showers
10. Meeting of the Board
11. Spirit of Yesterday
12. The Trouble Is...
13. Beneath It All
The title and cover pretty much sum it up. This album started out as a rock opera based on what I saw happening to my students in the international program as they grew up, graduated, entered society...and got sucked into the swamp. My original idea was actually a sort of gothic sci-fi (i.e. it turned out that the government...or somebody, at least...was hypnotizing the public into submission), but it was never finished. I got to the point where the "hero" of the story learns to stop thinking and just forget everything he has learned so he can become a model corporate citizen, and then it just stopped. In fact, wonder of wonders, some good things had suddenly happened with the second international class, and that had cured my bitterness enough to abandon the opera. I just kept what I had already finished and then recorded some other songs. The underlying theme remains the same, but the second half is far less black than the first.
Sensei - This song is based on true events. Teachers at my second base school did not always practice what they preached. Nothing more need be said.
Losing Battle - This song is the dramatic climax of what would have been Part One of the original opera. Our "hero" (based on one of the more promising members of the first international class) enters the corporate world and tries to put his education and smarts to good use...only to become the proverbial protruding nail that gets hammered down.
Meeting of the Board - In 1993 a certain, famous Japanese megacorporation (which shall remain nameless) had an emergency board meeting to discuss problems they were having with their new recruits. It seemed that young people were becoming much too lacking in initiative and resolve, and the executive management was concerned about what that meant for the company's future. What was the result of the meeting? They decided that it was all the fault of the Japanese education system, which systematically stifled any hint of initiative or resolve. No, actually I'm kidding. They blamed "an incursion of Western values". Yep. It's all America's fault that Japanese kids are spineless, spoiled, and dependent.
Beneath It All - I didn't think so much about this song when I made it, but it seems to be popular (despite the vocal flub at the end). The bottom line: if the islands that make up Japan could talk, what would they say?
Beleaguered from Within (1993)
1. Your Own Worst Judge
2. Followed By Decadence
3. Cursed with a Conscience
4. Be One
5. But At The Wrong Time
6. How Does Your Mother Feel Now?
7. Beleaguered from Within
8. Still At It
9. No Regrets
10. Until The End
11. Right or Wrong
12. End of an Era
This album started as a sort of tongue-in-cheek look at the different facets of the human character and the various forces that influence it. As I went along, however, the darkening situation at work led to its becoming more sarcastic and cynical, but not yet really bitter. Personally, I think some of my best songwriting happened during this period, and I'm tempted to remake much if not most of this album.
Your Own Worst Judge - The album kicks off with a soliloquoy from your superego.
How Does Your Mother Feel Now? - In Japan of the early '90s James Dean was considered hip, and all the "macho" boys (more often than not pencil-neck geek wanna-be's) wore waxy, duck-butt hairstyles and swaggered around with "I'm so bad" looks on their faces. A lot of them also became either bikers or hot rodders (unlicensed, of course) whether they stayed in school or not. Quite often they were into snorting glue or paint thinner, which probably explained a few things. It was so laughably cliche, but it was far from amusing. It was bad enough that they made a game out of annoying everybody. The fact was that the girls in my international class went ape over those morons...and the competition for their "affection" and the "prestige" that went with it had a lot to do with the souring of the girls' attitude. Incidentally, during the '92-'93 school year fully three such boys, all students at my schools, managed to crash their cars or bikes and kill both themselves and their female companions. I admit I found it hard to feel sorry for them. To me it seemed more like poetic justice...both to them and to the doting idiot parents that had bought their vehicles for them in the first place. This song was a very entertaining experiment with layered guitar sounds.
Beleaguered from Within - The title track of the album explores the premise that it's virtually impossible to be truly "good". No matter what you do, when you think about it, you're causing harm to someone or something else. It can make it very hard to live with your conscience...if you even have one. I recorded this track before I had either MIDI programming ability or a good sequencer, so all those moving synth parts were played by hand on keyboards or wind synth...something I admit I find a bit intimidating now.
Cursed with a Conscience - Speaking of which... This is a light-hearted look at what it means to have a conscience...and the burdens it can place on you.
Hirokawa Gakuen (1992)
1. Who Am I?
2. Hirokawa Gakuen
3. Nothing to Fear At All
4. Spring Rut
5. Rough Edge
6. Condemned
7. Degradation
8. Turnabout
9. Ego Trip
10. Another Day, Another Ichiman-En
11. Song of Fall
12. Thoughts of Oregon
13. What Do the People Know?
14. Onset of Autumn
The school at which I was helping create an international course had two sister schools in Adelaide, Australia. They in turn had a second sister school in Japan. It was a prestigious, private academy (NO, NOT THE ONE WHERE I WORK!!!! THIS ONE WAS IN TOKYO!!!!!) with a reputation for being very harsh. That was something of an understatement. I met a teacher from our sister school in Adelaide, and he told me all about the scary things he'd seen during his visit to that other school. One of the stories in particular struck me. It was about a promising boy student who'd had his head shaven by his teachers and had been subjected to cruel humiliation, the normal form of punishment at that
Hirokawa Gakuen - The title track is about the "hero's" first entering his new school...and finding out that it isn't the rosy place he'd thought it would be.
Rough Edge - And heeeeeere's the "hero's" crazy biker friend! He is a rebel, a square peg, a green sheep, and he's determined to be himself at any cost. Unfortunately, our "hero's" teachers don't like that. This seems to be everyone's favorite song on this album.
Condemned - Our "hero" faces the (warped) judgment of the school faculty.
Another Day, Another Ichiman-En - "Ichi-Man En" (一万円), or 10,000 yen (about $80 at the exchange rate back then) was what I calculated to be my approximate daily salary at the time. This instrumental is not part of the "Hirokawa Gakuen" rock opera. Instead, it depicts a typical day at my new base school starting with the bicycle ride to work, the morning meeting, Freshmen girls coming to flirt with the teachers, hanging out in the staff room, two classes, having lunch in the staff room, the International Club after school, the daily biker gang drive-by, going home at the end of the day, and getting plastered.
Friday, February 2, 2007
The Green Era: 1990 - 1992
I had my first experience with studio recording back in 1984 when my friend Dave used me as a guinea pig for his studio recording class. Together with a couple of other musicians I knew, we recorded a song of mine called "Song of the Sea Kings". It was a mixed success (i.e. I did the vocals with a blown voice, so my singing was pretty bad) but it was an important first step. Later, in 1989, Dave came to visit with a Tascam 4-track cassette deck, and we spent a full day recording a few of my tunes. The result was a tape that I foisted on a number of people I knew. That work sounds pretty embarrassing now, but it got me interested in putting together a home studio of my own.
In late July 1990 I arrived in Kashima, Japan to start what was intended to be a two-year stint as an Assistant Language Teacher (ALT). It was not intended to be just an adventure, but also a means to a number of ends, one of the most important of which was advancing my musical "career". When I got my first paycheck in August I bought a cheap Casio keyboard and a Victor karaoke mike at an electronics store near my flat. In September, with the coming of my second paycheck (and a bit more security with my living situation), I went up to Mito and bought a Yamaha 4-track cassette recorder. Two weeks and a few experimental recordings later I bought my bass, which was followed a short time later by my "Yamacaster" electric guitar and a couple of Boss effectors. The studio setup I had then, if you could call it that, seems like a pathetic joke compared with what I have now, but it still allowed me to get started putting my musical ideas on tape. It wasn't long before I started putting those works together into albums, only available on cassette in those days, and sending them around to people. The positive responses I got encouraged me to keep going, adding and improving as I went along.
Out of the Cold (1992)
1. Center of Your Own World
2. Pantheon pt. I
3. Pantheon pt. II
4. Impasse Adventure Series
5. It's Snowing in Kamisu
6. Now
7. And Then
8. So Profound
9. Never Getting Better
10. Entropy
11. Wind My Soul Up Again
12. Oregon Weather
13. Mo Ikkai Anata Da
There is a bit of overlap between this album and Hirokawa Gakuen, above, but all of the songs were recorded while I was living in the little house in Kashima. This was a time when both the fact of my "gaijin-ness" and my isolation started getting to me. There were two significant events related to that that had a profound effect on the music. One was a student at one of my schools who had a strong crush on me. My Japanese coworkers there encouraged me to go out with her. I admit that I was sorely tempted to do so, but in the end my conscience wouldn't allow it. My Japanese coworkers accused me of being gay, the girl turned against me, and I felt rather depressed about the whole thing. About the same time all that was happening, however, the principal of one of my visit schools asked me to give free English lessons to his "child". I assumed it was either a grade school or junior high student. It turned out to be a woman in her twenties. It wasn't long before we became friends. It wasn't much longer until we were romantically involved. (We were married two years later...and still are.)
Center of Your Own World - This monstrosity of a song was actually one of the first tunes I wrote and recorded here in Japan. However, I (and others) liked the song so much, and the recording was so pathetic, that I remade it. This is the second version. I kept it mostly true to the original. It's one of the last tunes in which I used the Casio keyboard, which was replaced by a Yamaha synth soon afterward, but I used a Roland drum machine instead of the corny-sounding Casio drums (thank goodness).
Incidentally, there have been some misunderstandings as to the song's intent. It is NOT meant to be an attack on religion...though it is very much an attack on hypocrisy. During the last week or so before I came to Japan I stayed in a flat in Corvallis (my college town). During that time I saw a lot of a Japanese woman named Kyoko, who was a good friend of mine. We had both suffered a recent crisis. In my case I had just come off of yet another romantic episode that had started well but ended in a sudden, mind-boggling heartbreak. In her case she had been suddenly dumped by her (Catholic) fiance, kicked out of her (unofficially Baptist) co-op house, and ditched by her hitherto close circle of (born-again Christian) friends because of her refusal to convert to Christianity. (I had experienced something VERY similar in my high school days, so I could sympathize, though her case was much worse.) We gave each other a lot of very meaningful words of comfort during that last week before I left. This song summarizes and sometimes quotes directly what we said to each other. The phrase, "You're the center of your own world, no one else can be," was actually Kyoko's.
Pantheon pt. II - It isn't hard to tell that this song was inspired by the women that were keeping my limbic system in turmoil. It is interesting to note that the musical style is very obviously influenced by late 80s/early 90s Britpop, which had been introduced to me during that time by the "student" who soon became my girlfriend (and later my wife).
And Then - And then...another Britpop-influenced tune! The title comes from the fact that it was a follow-up to a totally different tune called "Now". After all those weeks of argument between my ego, id, superego, memories, denial, and reality, I had finally settled into something very good.
Never Getting Better - Here's an acoustic number that has been named as a favorite by some despite its rather negative outlook on life. (People were listening to this tune at a party once, and one of my friends said, "Ah, this is a good song. Most of [Moody's] are. But never, ever listen to the lyrics or it'll make you depressed!) I actually got the inspiration for it when I was watching the movie "Dances With Wolves" and a news report came on telling of an ethnic massacre somewhere in the "civilized" world.
Civilized my arse...
Oregon Weather - Okay, I'll include this short instrumental just because I've always liked it. It was one of the first tunes that I did featuring the Yamaha synth, though it also features my 12-string guitar.
Zirdo Now (1991)
1. Gunst
2. Inner Duality
3. Pyrex Jungle
4. Clackamette
5. Goon's Circus
6. Balkan Jig
7. A Matter of Time
8. Backroad Adventure
9. Alien
10. O Mama Luna
11. Together We Shall Go
12. Attitude Inversion
13. Various Geometric Figures Dance
14. Kyrie & Postlude
When I first started transferring my old tape albums to CD this was the earliest collection I was willing to make public. By the time of these recordings I had accumulated enough gear and know-how to produce works I could really feel good about. They still sound kind of silly compared to what I do nowadays, but some of these tunes are classics. I could hardly imagine remaking them simply because they have become part of the world just as they are.
Incidentally, the album title "Zirdo Now!" is an old joke dating from my early college days. There was a religious graffiti war in progress on a poster in the music building. I was really annoyed with the whole thing, so I injected the totally random and utterly meaningless phrase, "Zirdo now!" into it. The graffiti war came to a dead stop for a while, but then it started up again with people arguing for or against "zirdo"! I did something similar with the same word later at Oregon State, and the same thing happened. No one had any idea what "zirdo" was (because it wasn't anything!) but they were still willing to take sides and fight for or against it! What does THAT tell you about human nature?
I found out later that "zirdo" means "I am" in Enochian, the language supposedly spoken by the angels (which is why there's an angel on the album cover). Interesting coincidence...or is it?
Pyrex Jungle - [Inside joke alert!] Back in my high school days I started writing theme songs for each of my friends (and even a couple of people I didn't like) at the time. Most of them weren't serious efforts, and nothing much came of them. A few, however, were completed and actually performed live, including one I penned in 1988 to play at a memorial in honor of a friend who had just died of leukemia. Those three tunes became the so-called "Epic Trilogy". In 1991, when I was satisfied that my capabilities were good enough, I recorded the "Epic Trilogy". (It was included on the tape version of Zirdo Now and on a tribute compilation Don Snabulus made soon afterward in honor of our lost friend, but I left it off the CD because I intend to remake it in 2008.) That got me started thinking about other friends of mine who didn't have themes yet. I made and recorded several but wasn't satisfied with most of them. "Pyrex Jungle" is one of very few that made it to the CD.
This song is dedicated to none other than my friend Dewkid. Naturally, as a theme song for a friend, it is full of inside jokes that will leave the uninitiated scratching their heads. Still, I think this song is one of the most memorable I've ever made, and though I've oft been tempted to remake it, I think this version is too much of a classic to improve, poor sound quality and sloppy playing notwithstanding!
(Did I just say "notwithstanding"?)
Clackamette - This instrumental was thrown together and recorded to break in the Fender Stratocaster I had just bought. The title comes from a park in Oregon City, where the Clackamas River joins the Willamette, which was our favorite hangout in our late high school and early college days. I still like this tune and wonder if I should remake it. (Yes, I was feeling rather homesick at the time...)
A Matter of Time - I tossed this one in because it's a personal favorite of mine and also makes good use of all the gear I had at my disposal at the time including both the Casio keyboard and the Yamaha wind synth.
Alien - Culture shock is something that usually comes and goes in semi-regular intervals during at least the first few years one lives in a foreign country. It's also different each time it hits. The first wave is simply the burnout that comes after the honeymoon has completely worn off. The second is more of a feeling of total isolation even when surrounded by lots of people, i.e. the knowledge that you'll never fit in no matter what you do. To me the latter was far, far worse. I was feeling both intensely homesick and intensely lonely, and the circus-freak sort of hero worship a gaijin can tend to get here only made things worse.
The idea of this song came while I was (surprise, surprise) riding the train to Mito surrounded by gawking and giggling students. There are two Japanese-spoken interludes that were real-life incidents: a taxi driver who just could not understand my very clear and simple Japanese because he couldn't handle the idea of a gaijin speaking his language, and students debating how to talk to me in English only to panic and run away when I said hello. This is followed by station announcements one always heard when riding that particular train line. I actually used this song for listening comprehension practice in one of my classes, and it made a couple of students cry.
Together We Shall Go - Just to end on a happier note, here's something I don't do very often, a romantic song.
The (de)Formative Years (1991)
1. Kacho-San
2. Wakannai (v. 1)
3. Party Crowd
4. Daily Routine
5. Heckart Lodge
6. Rad World
The Call of Cthulhu:
7. Prelude/In The Box
8. Dance in the Bog
9. Castro's Confession
10. R'lyeh
11. Escape from R'lyah
12. The Colorman
13. Goodbye Chant
This is a collection of some of the representative works from my earliest home recording period. Needless to say, the quality is about as low as it can get, since I was feeling my way around in the dark with little in the way of equipment. Still, some of the songs are memorable classics. Many people still say they like these, and they do have plenty of sentimental value, so listen and accept them for what they are.
Kacho-San - This is a fairly early recording, dating from around Christmas in 1990. The fact that it's a 12-string acoustic and bass tune with Casio keyboard drums makes it a good example of my earlier style, but the appearance of my (brand new at the time) wind synth marks it as one from the 90-91 transition period. "Kacho-san" means "(department) chief" in Japanese, and the song was inspired by a true-life situation involving a friend's girlfriend and the (arrogant, belching, farting, drunk) department chief(s) that kept trying to hit on her. Par for the course in this country, at least in those days.
Rad World - In those days I was living in a government-subsidized apartment for prefectural workers. I think you can imagine how nice it wasn't. It was a crumbling, rust-and-mold-filled concrete box in the middle of the rice fields. I had lots of space...but I also had lots of unwanted company. I learned just how pesky...and how large...Japanese cockroaches can be. They're also very survivable. In fact, I've heard that cockroaches have a very high tolerance to radiation, meaning they're likely to survive a nuclear catastrophe. That was the inspiration for this song. So was the dual-speed setting of my multitrack recorder. :-)
Prelude/In The Box - This is the first two parts of the short rock opera I made inspired by H.P. Lovecraft's sci-fi horror story, "The Call of Cthulhu" as well as the Chaosium role-playing game of the same title. I actually wrote it while still in college. This tune is significant as it's one of the very first I made using a Roland drum machine instead of Casio keyboard drums. The drum part is programmed, but the keyboard parts were all played by hand since I didn't yet have a sequencer or MIDI capability. (Unfortunately, now that I rely on sequencers and MIDI, I no longer have the ability to play that tune by hand! It's a trade-off...)
I'm planning on remaking the entire 5-movement CoC rock opera, hopefully sometime soon.
The Colorman - [Inside joke alert!] I sincerely apologize for this, but I knew my friends would never forgive me if I didn't include it. Yes, this is the same Colorman who appears in the "Radio ZRDO" show on the Acerola Cola????!? album. There's a long story behind both this song and the Colorman character, and I won't bother explaining it here.
Goodbye Chant - [Inside joke alert!] There is NO WAY I'm ending this with "The Colorman", so I'll finish up with the last tune on the album, a nice (if a bit ill-timed) bit of eight-part harmony lovingly recorded on a 4-track cassette deck. Now that I've gone back to the beginning of my recording, the time has come at last to say goodbye. Goodbye!
In late July 1990 I arrived in Kashima, Japan to start what was intended to be a two-year stint as an Assistant Language Teacher (ALT). It was not intended to be just an adventure, but also a means to a number of ends, one of the most important of which was advancing my musical "career". When I got my first paycheck in August I bought a cheap Casio keyboard and a Victor karaoke mike at an electronics store near my flat. In September, with the coming of my second paycheck (and a bit more security with my living situation), I went up to Mito and bought a Yamaha 4-track cassette recorder. Two weeks and a few experimental recordings later I bought my bass, which was followed a short time later by my "Yamacaster" electric guitar and a couple of Boss effectors. The studio setup I had then, if you could call it that, seems like a pathetic joke compared with what I have now, but it still allowed me to get started putting my musical ideas on tape. It wasn't long before I started putting those works together into albums, only available on cassette in those days, and sending them around to people. The positive responses I got encouraged me to keep going, adding and improving as I went along.
Out of the Cold (1992)
1. Center of Your Own World
2. Pantheon pt. I
3. Pantheon pt. II
4. Impasse Adventure Series
5. It's Snowing in Kamisu
6. Now
7. And Then
8. So Profound
9. Never Getting Better
10. Entropy
11. Wind My Soul Up Again
12. Oregon Weather
13. Mo Ikkai Anata Da
There is a bit of overlap between this album and Hirokawa Gakuen, above, but all of the songs were recorded while I was living in the little house in Kashima. This was a time when both the fact of my "gaijin-ness" and my isolation started getting to me. There were two significant events related to that that had a profound effect on the music. One was a student at one of my schools who had a strong crush on me. My Japanese coworkers there encouraged me to go out with her. I admit that I was sorely tempted to do so, but in the end my conscience wouldn't allow it. My Japanese coworkers accused me of being gay, the girl turned against me, and I felt rather depressed about the whole thing. About the same time all that was happening, however, the principal of one of my visit schools asked me to give free English lessons to his "child". I assumed it was either a grade school or junior high student. It turned out to be a woman in her twenties. It wasn't long before we became friends. It wasn't much longer until we were romantically involved. (We were married two years later...and still are.)
Center of Your Own World - This monstrosity of a song was actually one of the first tunes I wrote and recorded here in Japan. However, I (and others) liked the song so much, and the recording was so pathetic, that I remade it. This is the second version. I kept it mostly true to the original. It's one of the last tunes in which I used the Casio keyboard, which was replaced by a Yamaha synth soon afterward, but I used a Roland drum machine instead of the corny-sounding Casio drums (thank goodness).
Incidentally, there have been some misunderstandings as to the song's intent. It is NOT meant to be an attack on religion...though it is very much an attack on hypocrisy. During the last week or so before I came to Japan I stayed in a flat in Corvallis (my college town). During that time I saw a lot of a Japanese woman named Kyoko, who was a good friend of mine. We had both suffered a recent crisis. In my case I had just come off of yet another romantic episode that had started well but ended in a sudden, mind-boggling heartbreak. In her case she had been suddenly dumped by her (Catholic) fiance, kicked out of her (unofficially Baptist) co-op house, and ditched by her hitherto close circle of (born-again Christian) friends because of her refusal to convert to Christianity. (I had experienced something VERY similar in my high school days, so I could sympathize, though her case was much worse.) We gave each other a lot of very meaningful words of comfort during that last week before I left. This song summarizes and sometimes quotes directly what we said to each other. The phrase, "You're the center of your own world, no one else can be," was actually Kyoko's.
Pantheon pt. II - It isn't hard to tell that this song was inspired by the women that were keeping my limbic system in turmoil. It is interesting to note that the musical style is very obviously influenced by late 80s/early 90s Britpop, which had been introduced to me during that time by the "student" who soon became my girlfriend (and later my wife).
And Then - And then...another Britpop-influenced tune! The title comes from the fact that it was a follow-up to a totally different tune called "Now". After all those weeks of argument between my ego, id, superego, memories, denial, and reality, I had finally settled into something very good.
Never Getting Better - Here's an acoustic number that has been named as a favorite by some despite its rather negative outlook on life. (People were listening to this tune at a party once, and one of my friends said, "Ah, this is a good song. Most of [Moody's] are. But never, ever listen to the lyrics or it'll make you depressed!) I actually got the inspiration for it when I was watching the movie "Dances With Wolves" and a news report came on telling of an ethnic massacre somewhere in the "civilized" world.
Civilized my arse...
Oregon Weather - Okay, I'll include this short instrumental just because I've always liked it. It was one of the first tunes that I did featuring the Yamaha synth, though it also features my 12-string guitar.
Zirdo Now (1991)
1. Gunst
2. Inner Duality
3. Pyrex Jungle
4. Clackamette
5. Goon's Circus
6. Balkan Jig
7. A Matter of Time
8. Backroad Adventure
9. Alien
10. O Mama Luna
11. Together We Shall Go
12. Attitude Inversion
13. Various Geometric Figures Dance
14. Kyrie & Postlude
When I first started transferring my old tape albums to CD this was the earliest collection I was willing to make public. By the time of these recordings I had accumulated enough gear and know-how to produce works I could really feel good about. They still sound kind of silly compared to what I do nowadays, but some of these tunes are classics. I could hardly imagine remaking them simply because they have become part of the world just as they are.
Incidentally, the album title "Zirdo Now!" is an old joke dating from my early college days. There was a religious graffiti war in progress on a poster in the music building. I was really annoyed with the whole thing, so I injected the totally random and utterly meaningless phrase, "Zirdo now!" into it. The graffiti war came to a dead stop for a while, but then it started up again with people arguing for or against "zirdo"! I did something similar with the same word later at Oregon State, and the same thing happened. No one had any idea what "zirdo" was (because it wasn't anything!) but they were still willing to take sides and fight for or against it! What does THAT tell you about human nature?
I found out later that "zirdo" means "I am" in Enochian, the language supposedly spoken by the angels (which is why there's an angel on the album cover). Interesting coincidence...or is it?
Pyrex Jungle - [Inside joke alert!] Back in my high school days I started writing theme songs for each of my friends (and even a couple of people I didn't like) at the time. Most of them weren't serious efforts, and nothing much came of them. A few, however, were completed and actually performed live, including one I penned in 1988 to play at a memorial in honor of a friend who had just died of leukemia. Those three tunes became the so-called "Epic Trilogy". In 1991, when I was satisfied that my capabilities were good enough, I recorded the "Epic Trilogy". (It was included on the tape version of Zirdo Now and on a tribute compilation Don Snabulus made soon afterward in honor of our lost friend, but I left it off the CD because I intend to remake it in 2008.) That got me started thinking about other friends of mine who didn't have themes yet. I made and recorded several but wasn't satisfied with most of them. "Pyrex Jungle" is one of very few that made it to the CD.
This song is dedicated to none other than my friend Dewkid. Naturally, as a theme song for a friend, it is full of inside jokes that will leave the uninitiated scratching their heads. Still, I think this song is one of the most memorable I've ever made, and though I've oft been tempted to remake it, I think this version is too much of a classic to improve, poor sound quality and sloppy playing notwithstanding!
(Did I just say "notwithstanding"?)
Clackamette - This instrumental was thrown together and recorded to break in the Fender Stratocaster I had just bought. The title comes from a park in Oregon City, where the Clackamas River joins the Willamette, which was our favorite hangout in our late high school and early college days. I still like this tune and wonder if I should remake it. (Yes, I was feeling rather homesick at the time...)
A Matter of Time - I tossed this one in because it's a personal favorite of mine and also makes good use of all the gear I had at my disposal at the time including both the Casio keyboard and the Yamaha wind synth.
Alien - Culture shock is something that usually comes and goes in semi-regular intervals during at least the first few years one lives in a foreign country. It's also different each time it hits. The first wave is simply the burnout that comes after the honeymoon has completely worn off. The second is more of a feeling of total isolation even when surrounded by lots of people, i.e. the knowledge that you'll never fit in no matter what you do. To me the latter was far, far worse. I was feeling both intensely homesick and intensely lonely, and the circus-freak sort of hero worship a gaijin can tend to get here only made things worse.
The idea of this song came while I was (surprise, surprise) riding the train to Mito surrounded by gawking and giggling students. There are two Japanese-spoken interludes that were real-life incidents: a taxi driver who just could not understand my very clear and simple Japanese because he couldn't handle the idea of a gaijin speaking his language, and students debating how to talk to me in English only to panic and run away when I said hello. This is followed by station announcements one always heard when riding that particular train line. I actually used this song for listening comprehension practice in one of my classes, and it made a couple of students cry.
Together We Shall Go - Just to end on a happier note, here's something I don't do very often, a romantic song.
The (de)Formative Years (1991)
1. Kacho-San
2. Wakannai (v. 1)
3. Party Crowd
4. Daily Routine
5. Heckart Lodge
6. Rad World
The Call of Cthulhu:
7. Prelude/In The Box
8. Dance in the Bog
9. Castro's Confession
10. R'lyeh
11. Escape from R'lyah
12. The Colorman
13. Goodbye Chant
This is a collection of some of the representative works from my earliest home recording period. Needless to say, the quality is about as low as it can get, since I was feeling my way around in the dark with little in the way of equipment. Still, some of the songs are memorable classics. Many people still say they like these, and they do have plenty of sentimental value, so listen and accept them for what they are.
Kacho-San - This is a fairly early recording, dating from around Christmas in 1990. The fact that it's a 12-string acoustic and bass tune with Casio keyboard drums makes it a good example of my earlier style, but the appearance of my (brand new at the time) wind synth marks it as one from the 90-91 transition period. "Kacho-san" means "(department) chief" in Japanese, and the song was inspired by a true-life situation involving a friend's girlfriend and the (arrogant, belching, farting, drunk) department chief(s) that kept trying to hit on her. Par for the course in this country, at least in those days.
Rad World - In those days I was living in a government-subsidized apartment for prefectural workers. I think you can imagine how nice it wasn't. It was a crumbling, rust-and-mold-filled concrete box in the middle of the rice fields. I had lots of space...but I also had lots of unwanted company. I learned just how pesky...and how large...Japanese cockroaches can be. They're also very survivable. In fact, I've heard that cockroaches have a very high tolerance to radiation, meaning they're likely to survive a nuclear catastrophe. That was the inspiration for this song. So was the dual-speed setting of my multitrack recorder. :-)
Prelude/In The Box - This is the first two parts of the short rock opera I made inspired by H.P. Lovecraft's sci-fi horror story, "The Call of Cthulhu" as well as the Chaosium role-playing game of the same title. I actually wrote it while still in college. This tune is significant as it's one of the very first I made using a Roland drum machine instead of Casio keyboard drums. The drum part is programmed, but the keyboard parts were all played by hand since I didn't yet have a sequencer or MIDI capability. (Unfortunately, now that I rely on sequencers and MIDI, I no longer have the ability to play that tune by hand! It's a trade-off...)
I'm planning on remaking the entire 5-movement CoC rock opera, hopefully sometime soon.
The Colorman - [Inside joke alert!] I sincerely apologize for this, but I knew my friends would never forgive me if I didn't include it. Yes, this is the same Colorman who appears in the "Radio ZRDO" show on the Acerola Cola????!? album. There's a long story behind both this song and the Colorman character, and I won't bother explaining it here.
Goodbye Chant - [Inside joke alert!] There is NO WAY I'm ending this with "The Colorman", so I'll finish up with the last tune on the album, a nice (if a bit ill-timed) bit of eight-part harmony lovingly recorded on a 4-track cassette deck. Now that I've gone back to the beginning of my recording, the time has come at last to say goodbye. Goodbye!
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